I recently read some postings to a blog – wherein the thesis there appears to center upon the word “pain” associated with a professional job search.
After some contemplation, I opted not to post the following comment to that discussion. The reason for this is simple – I am not interested in stirring someone up, but rather desire to address a collateral matter, one not I think within the scope of that blog thread.
Taking a cue from that other blog thread, I am writing to the prompt triggered therein.
Namely, keying on some words:
- Self-esteem – I do not like this perfectly good word and would never apply it to my self. Frankly, I am not interested in feeling good, but rather prefer to do what I ought to do, not what I want to do.
- Worthlessness – I have never thought of my self-as worthless. Never is a strong word, I know that. Down and tired mentally physically -
yes. But I know that I have great value. This is a truth not a feeling. None of us are worthless.
- Role – Yes, we have problems in fulfilling a role. However, none of us have to struggle to be in a role. Roles are facts, not performances. Now, if we are not fulfilling our role, or our trying to fulfill the role of someone else, that is a different matter. What role are you in? Then, what are the responsibilities and obligations of that role? Then, fulfill the responsibilities and meet the obligations.
- Failure – I am process oriented. If the process is correct, the outcomes are beyond our control. Hence, when things go wrong in a process, the outcome was not what we expected, but we should never incorrectly subsume unexpected outcomes and ascribe those unexpected outcomes to ourselves and think intrinsically that we are failures!
- Shame – If habitually we are doing as we ought, therein there is no shame. In the work context – if we always, habitually, look for work (short-hand for our process) – therein there is no shame. This is factual. Shame creeps in at the emotional level. The idea is if the facts are right (think process is right) there is never any shame. Hence, if this is true, then forcibly kick the emotion of shame in the teeth – kill it and move on! If the process is not right – there is no excuse – there are more things going on then than just shame. Hence, may it stick. Get with the program – this is a clue card that the person is doing as they want, not as they ought. If the changes aren’t made, don’t worry, the shame will come back, again and again.
- Self-respect – This is a collateral benefit, not an objective. The self-respect comes from being right and doing right. If one is at core righteous – the rest follows as a result. If one is at core not righteous – no mental gymnastics will get us there. That is what a conscience is for. If you and I don’t have an active conscience – get with the program – it is seared (cooked overdone).
- Demoralized – I expect to be from time to time perhaps kicked down, but never out of the game – that is circumstances. But that does not define me. Ask the question, what defines you? If the answer is not immediately forthcoming, that too is a clue card.
- Lethargy – Being tired is one thing, not acting as one ought is another. If one is tired, take a nap or get a good nights sleep. Then, get up and get moving!
Summary statement: These are some thoughts, organized around a collection of key words. This note is far from being a complete set of thoughts or even being even an organized set of thoughts. If this note seems to be confusing or heavy handed, the reader has missed the point entirely. This is intended to be strong encouragement, that addresses matters common to all of us. If we are showing signs of struggling, that is a fantastic indication that the resolution of these matters is near at hand – hope is extended to you and to me. If we don’t have that richest kind of hope, have a little loan of mine – no interest charged, it’s free. Disappointment is 100% curable. That is a great deal!!
cajrtodd
